Exploring Progressive Love

I never truly subscribed to the belief that one person could fulfill my every need.  I dreamed of an open relationship. A partnership where I was free to explore whomever I wanted both emotionally and intimately should someone worthy manifest in my life. I read about these couples all the time, but finding a like minded potential mate seemed unlikely. Not to mention the fact I always found myself in a relationship with a man who couldn’t bear the thought of sharing me regardless of his own fidelity or lack thereof.

So here I am, single AND okay with it for the first time in my life when she appeared. Although seemingly the opposite of anyone I’d be attracted too; we clicked instantly. Similar goals and values. She understands my complex mind. Our strengths and weaknesses complement each other. Like minded is an understatement. It was love at first vibe. One problem. She lives 1200 miles away.

The closest thing I’ve experienced to a long distance relationship in the past was being married to a sailor. I wish I could say that relationship prepared me for the emotions I was to experience with her. Sorting through them all has been interesting to say the least. Jealousy being the most fascinating of them all. Bree is free-spirited. Jealousy is not an emotion I subscribe too. How could I? I believe all people should be free to explore whomever whenever they please. Until now.

Suddenly I am dreaming of a monogamous relationship. As far as I’m concerned I’ve found someone with whom I’m equally yoked. Fantasy has taken over my mind and despite the 1200 miles between us and various obstacles making it difficult to visit each other let alone be together I have declared her my future. She on the other hand is not so convinced. I’m awaiting her to jump on the crazy train and give me her heart. Instead I’m watching others vie for her love and attention along with me. I want to strangle them all.

So now I’m sitting with my therapist trying to figure out how I exit the express train to insanity. I have to figure out what MY emotional needs are. Communicate them and not only accept that she doesn’t have to agree to meet them, but the consequences of whatever her choice is. She’s been on some “we’ll be friends forever” shit from the jump. I just told y’all this is my future. So what is this friendship non-sense she has been feeding me forever? Can I be just friends with this beautiful soul? Better yet, can I watch her date someone else?

So I slowly begin to accept this “right person, wrong time” conundrum I’ve been placed in. Attempting to transition from future girlfriend to the dreaded “just friends” zone when she asks about an open relationship. Omg what a great idea, right? Wrong! Suddenly I can’t bear the thought of a potential mate sharing an intimate connection with anyone other than myself. Is this new found monogamous ideal truly the result of love? Or am I attempting to control the outcome of our situation on the basis of fear?

In an attempt to sort through my feelings and identify what is truly my own belief system I happened upon a video on open relationships done by one of my favorite youtubers, Shannon Boodrum. I’m still not sure what direction I’m going, but this video left me knowing one thing for sure. Regardless of whom I end up or the structure I choose I desire a relationship so violently honest it challenges me to grow both independently and collectively. I pledge to abandon fear based relating in an effort to create a healthy union built on healthy communication, trust and the commitment to help each other (or all parties involved) fulfill our life purpose.

Please watch Shannon’s video below.

Which relationship structure resonates with you? Traditional monogamy or progressive love? Where did your belief system originate?

– Brittany

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Pisces Harvest Moon – Lunar Eclipse 2016

pexels-photo

My upbringing instilled a fear in me regarding anything metaphysical, but I am thankful that this has been a beautiful year of spiritual growth. I’m a new student to astrology, but the many ways that God speaks through the universe is astonishing to me.

So, what does a harvest moon lunar eclipse in Pisces even mean?

Great question and honestly I’m still learning.  A harvest moon is the September full moon. It is my understanding that the the full moon being in Pisces brings about a wave of emotions so try to keep it light as this time may include a lot of mood swings. Miscommunication  is also in tow as we are still amid mercury retrograde. Pisces is revealing and repelling all that is keeping us from our divinity and the lunar eclipse intensifies it all.

Earlier this year I started connecting with God through moon rituals. Every full moon I release all that no longer serves me by writing it all out and then burning it. Recently in an attempt to go deeper I have been studying each moon in relation to astrology and what that means for me personally. I’m a Sagittarius sun with a Virgo moon, and an Aquarius rising. Pisces is in my second house which has to do with possessions and where we place are value as whole. This is where I will focus my meditation. My intuition is also guiding me towards an enema which is a little scary, but makes sense since Pisces aligns with the  sacral chakra and today seems like a good day to let sh*t go both literally and figuratively.

– Brittany

Get your own natal chart here or here.

Disclaimer – I am but a student documenting my journey. Please research and study for yourself. All knowledge, questions, comments, and concerns are both welcome and appreciated.

 

Blissful Intention

Some of you may know me from my blog, Sailor Wifey. I was in a lot of pain during that season. Mother of two and a newly married military spouse with a deployed husband and grieving a miscarriage on top of childhood wounds I had yet to heal. All of which led me to a dark depression and hospitalization. I’d love to say that after that time I healed, but instead I shut down. I created a wall and an unhealthy lifestyle that allowed me to stay afloat. For years I lived in a constant state of confusion. Denying God. Denying my true self. Denying all that reminded me of pain out of fear of the very pain I was manifesting through the confusion.

Late last year a very good friend of mine turned me on to yoni eggs. She was drawn to what they could do physically, but I was drawn to their metaphysical properties. The discovery of yoni eggs and the power of crystals has led me on a journey to rediscover both God and myself. This is what I believe to be the beginning of my spiritual awakening.

Today I am still healing and growing, but I have discovered that God has given us all the inherent ability to create a blissful life. I invite you to walk alongside me during my personal journey.

bliss-

  1. 1:  complete happiness
  2. 2:  paradise, heaven

intention-

  1. a determination to act in a certain way :  resolve

Bliss. (n.d.). Retrieved September 12, 2016, from http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/bliss Intention. (n.d.). Retrieved September 12, 2016, from http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/intention